It’s interesting that al Mawardi (rahimullah) compares the contract of nikah to the contract of bay’ah.

One of the notable effects of the internet is how much it enables people to misrepresent themselves, or make idealized representations of themselves. This is one of the reasons, at least anectdotally speaking, marriage from the internet seem to be less successful than traditional marriages.

In a traditional marriage arrangement, community involvement in the courtship process makes outright deception much more difficult. In discussing with a potential spouse, there doesn’t even need to be evil intent – in many cases, people simply don’t have an honest view of themselves, or they will at least avoid mentioning their negative qualities.

The internet also has the effect of raising our expectations and reducing our patience. Instant gratification is available everywhere, and so are all kind of fantasy worlds like movies and video games. We also can seek out communities of people who agree with our views, thus finding acceptance and validation, but virtual relationships are not a true substitute for real-life relationships, and as the quality of relationships declines, so does mental health. As mental health declines, so does the quality of real-life relationships, which puts even more pressure on the people to seek instant gratification in fantasy worlds.

When someone is conditioned through movies, anime, pornography, (or romance novels in the case of women) and social media to have inflated expectations about what a potential spouse will be like, they will be more inclined to buy into people’s idealized depictions of themselves. This is because they have spent so much time living in fantasy realities, that they have come to expect that the fantasy must be real.

The fantasy is modelled after desire, to create an illusion that molds itself as closely as possible to the ideal of fulfillment. But because it is fake, it is never truly fulfilling, and so the fantasy must always become more exciting and stimulating. This is similar to how a heroine addict has to increase the dose of heroine over time to achieve the same effect.

This pervasive addiction to fantasy also increases the pressure on people to misrepresent themselves in the process of seeking a spouse, because they have to compete with the fantasy realities. After marriage, they will eventually find themselves unable to maintain the illusion, and the fantasy reality will always be calling to divorce, with the promise of a more perfect fantasy world.

So there can be no doubt living in digital fantasy worlds is a major driver divorce, and in this way the Satanic influence of digital media becomes apparent. Likewise, when Harut and Marut taught magic to the people of Babylon, one of the effects of the magic was to separate a man and his wife.

This illustrates the reality of the statement:

إِنَّ ٱلْبَطِلَ كَانَ زَهُوقًۭا

The basis of a relationship is trust, and it builds slowly, with patience, over time. If a relationship begins with false representation of ones self, it will eventually fail, because it is not built on a sound foundation, and so your partner will be unwilling to continue to build a bond, not knowing if the foundation will collapse underneath the structure or not. Likewise, if a person’s expectations are built on falsehood, they will never be able to accept reality, because they are in love with the illusion, and once the reality becomes manifest, they will leave it to seek the illusion.

When it comes to an Islamic group operating on the internet, it’s possible to use tactics similar to those used by someone seeking marriage on the internet. They can control camera angles, lighting, and use filters to improve their physical appearance, and select specific information to share about themselves. In this way, they can present an idealized version of reality, and offer it to a population with a raging addiction to instant gratification.

Similar to what happens when someone uses this method in marriage, it initially has a very powerful effect, because people are attracted by the idealized image being offered, but it tends to collapse quickly as the reality becomes apparent.

This is the dillemma of using Western media techniques to support Islamic movements – Western media is deceptive by its very nature. The truth of a person or group is known by comparing their actions to the Quran and sunnah holistically, not only by evaluating the actions and speech that they choose to share or display.

As with marriage, such impressions are ideally obtained through networks of real-life, trusted people who have first hand experience with the matter in question. It’s through this process of shura with trustworthy believers that we can best gain a better understanding of a potential spouse or a group. And when it comes to dealing with either potential spouses or groups seeking loyalty and support online – buyer beware.